


Emotional Anorexic

by Colorora, gallantCreator



Series: Strifin and Buildin [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, OC, fan trolls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 22:25:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12567552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colorora/pseuds/Colorora, https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallantCreator/pseuds/gallantCreator
Summary: A Songfic for Aeseop Blaren (Colorora's character) and my own Luxana Bathry based on RP.





	Emotional Anorexic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Colorora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colorora/gifts).



### 

Emotional Anorexic

# 

A songfic for Aeseop Blaren-Bathry and Luxana Bathry-Blaren

_Morning grows near, oh I wish you were here,_  
_as I toss and I turn in my bed._  
_I long for your touch and I miss you so much_  
_and the silence has torn me to shreds._

_____ _

_But even in longing, I still feel the pronging_  
_of misery's poisonous claws,_  
_when in your perfection I catch my reflection_  
_and in it my numerous flaws._

____

Aeseop stared at her wifes side of the bed, sighing sadly. Stupid. Dumb. Worthless. Why were you wasting her time. She was immortal and you were still wasting her time. She was off doing an Emissary mission of peace to one of the new Kingdoms, and you were “sick”. So you stayed in bed. And you stayed awake all night, cursing your stupid brain for reminding you how worthless you were in her presence and how little you deserved her. The sun crept into your room, blinding you. You were always up first, watching her sleep. This time, your eyes focused on the portrait of the two of you on your wedding day. You frowned, and the reflection showed all of your gross, disgusting, ugly flaws. The cracks in your skin, the scars from your Lusus, the way your horns didn't quite match up. You sighed, and dragged yourself out of bed. The castle was empty and large, and you hated it. Hated the silence. Hated the noise.

_Babe, don't be afraid,_  
_you know I love you with all of my heart._  
_Please listen to me,_  
_don't let those wicked thoughts tear us apart._

The phone rang, and shook her from her mid-afternoon trance.  
“H...Hello?” She spoke timidly. The voice on the other end was cheerful and soft and she fell in love all over again.”  
“Hellooooo, sweetheart!”  
“Luxana! How's the trip?”  
There was a muffled greeting to some foreign head of state, then rustling as her hand moved, “Ugh, I hate it. Having to act like a Queen...”  
“You ARE a Queen, baby.”  
“And you are MY queen. How've you been?”  
“I've been...good.”  
The pause let Luxana know something was up.  
“Uh-huh...I'll be home soon, baby, I love you so much I can't wait to see you!”  
Aeseop smiled. She didn't know why Luxana loved her, but she knew she did.  
“I love you, too.”  
Then there was a kissing sound, and a click. And she was alone again with her thoughts.

 

_You're brave and you're strong, I am timid and wrong,_  
_you're a diamond and I am but coal._  
_You're the moon and the stars, I am ashes and tar,_  
_you're a nightingale I am a mole._

Your mind wandered back to the final battle. The Scratch. The three year journey. She was so in command. She gave you a task, but Xeliro insisted he'd do it on his own. If he had failed and not figured out how to pinpoint their new location it'd be your fault. Why didn't you do something? Why were you so weak? So small? But her...she didn't crack under pressure. When you died, she seized new power to strike at the one who hurt you. When you sulk and hide, she shines bright. She's always the strong one, the noble one, the brave one. You're just some useless, stupid, worthless, ugly...the phone rings again. Is it already time for her nightly check-in?

_Babe, don't think that way,_  
_these are the demons that bite at your soul._  
_Please, come back to me,_  
_you're losing your mind and you're out of control._

_Well, this is my curse and it keeps getting worse_  
_as I can't hold these bad thoughts at bay._  
_So I'll whine and I'll moan and I'll cry on the phone_  
_'till I finally drive you away._

“Aeseop, you okay baby?”  
She sniffed, “Yeah. I'm fine.”  
“You sound like you're on the verge of tears, sweetheart...”  
You choke up a bit, and try your best to fake it.  
“I'm...I'm fine. You go be...you go be the Queen. The Empress. I'll be your good little...useless...ugly...”  
She burst into tears, crying on the phone. Luxana frowned, shh'ing and telling her she loved her. It did no good, and her time was short.  
“Aeseop...baby...baby you're not useless OR ugly. You're not...I'll be home soon I promise! Tomorrow night!”  
She sniffled and nodded, hanging up.  
“I love y-”  
Click. Luxana frowned.

_And then I will ride with my deflated pride_  
_and the warmth of the blood in my shoe,_  
_'till an ugly old scar and a broken guitar_  
_will be all that reminds me of you._

The door creaked open and Aeseop dragged herself to her wife, eyes stained burgundy from crying. As soon as she spotted Luxana, she burst into tears again, hugging her wife tight.  
“I got you something!” Luxana opened a small case, and Aeseop boggled at it.  
“It's...an instrument? A guitar?” She looked up, confused.  
“But look at it.”  
Aeseop frowned. The neck was cracked, the body was all scuffed and beat up...only the strings seemed in good condition. Luxana took it gingerly, and strummed. The sound it made was nothing short of entrancing.  
“How...”  
“It's not QUITE a harp so I can't play yet...but I dunno. I thought it was nice.”  
“A broken guitar,” Aeseop was still baffled. Was her wife just so rich that nice things weren't good enough? Was she buying garbage to show off? Luxana kissed her nose and smiled.  
“A broken guitar that plays beautifully. Just because someone else treated it poorly and did their best to destroy it doesn't make it worthless or ugly, y'know? The scuffs and scars and breaks can be repaired, and the sound will get even more beautiful...and maybe someone, someday, will learn how to PROPERLY appreciate the beautiful music it can make when you take care of it the way it deserves.”  
Aeseop flushed up and squirmed a bit. Why was she so wonderful? What did you do to deserve her? But deep down, for once, instead of questioning it...  
You just thanked your lucky stars you did.


End file.
